i thought this
blogging thing is over but i guess it's not.
Whirlwind situation and I def’nitly agree...i’ve stolen and literally destroyed
this kid’s heart few years back and now I’m here tryin’ to get it right.
I’m fine actually but suddenly this brooding activity is
resurfacing without any warning signs...
Perhaps one day this
kid will realize that people from the past (I’m talking about “me”) is always
going to be here no matter how this kid refuses to forget it. Even I may never understand this but this is
something that I should be able to live with...consequences. I
confess that I occasionally feel like I’m dying every time I’m shaken by
reality that this kid is actually happy with someone now. Did I miss out on you? Yes...
This is my breather!
I guess, it’s always
been you (big words?!) but I honestly think it’s only ever going to be
you. Not like am never gonna find anyone
else kinda thing (^_^), maybe I’ll never find anyone as humorous, witty, intres’ting,
intelligent & perfectly annoying you.
And you know what’s funny? I am sitting here trying to re-create things
in my mind. I remember this kid and all
those late nights, those early morning sappy calls, maling and pandesal combo breakfast
meal, staying in bed all day, Gatorade, the chair tale and every thinkable mem’ries
we’ve had. I remember falling in love
with you, I remember pushing you away, I remember that day when you said
goodbye and left, I remember tears hitting the floor and I remember
when you said that you’re with someone.
i’m open, familiar,
broken and every single adjective in between.
This kid is my ticking self-destruct time bomb in good and bad way as I
may say...’got this innate talent to destruct, love and forgive me at the same
time. Every day I ask how can I still
get close and not get hurt? I dunno...
Thanks for the 5
years of fuckin’ beautiful! Go out and
enjoy every single day...show them and R what I was privileged enough to
see. After nov 20...or maybe one of
these days...just turn around and you'll see me...waiting. This is not a chase. Love you, kid! I do.
